Sunday, December 23, 2012

Dave - After Dark Exclusive

Christmas is almost here, and while the kids may be dreaming of a white Christmas, or have visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads, the elves maybe be planning what to do on the after Christmas vacation. Sure sure they do their job each night tattling to Santa all the mischief that goes on around here, but who watches over them? C.E.A (Central elf agency) or maybe its the FBE (Federal Bureau of Elves) or maybe its us moms. Thos other feet you hear going pitter patter in the night. That's right Elf on the shelfs we've been watching. We're ok with you playing with our stuff, and making manageable messes but ... some things we really didn't want to know, and thank god the children were sleeping.

So one night after a little too much eggnog Dave got a little fresh with baby girl. "Hey baby, I come from the North Pole. Should I check the list to see if you're naughty?"  Go home Dave you're drunk!

Apparently she was on one of those dating shows, 25 know the deal. ...he has invited baby to a luxurious bubble bath. Will she choose him to be her elf, will she give him the mistletoe...stay tuned.
Work the small talk Dave. Lots of questions and keep those eyes of yours above the bubble line. Gentle-elves always behave. 

Perhaps dating isn't meant to be a cattle call experience. Maybe it was too much pressure for one elf on top of his spy duties. Whatever it was Dave took a turn from naughty to worse...Bad elves Bad elves whatcha gonna do...."Put down the straw sir you're coming with me", "What it's just a little snow", "Destruction of property, and operating a train while snowed. You have the right to remain silent...seriously the kids are in the other have the right to an attorney...." Dave was sentenced to 11 months hard labor in Santa's workshop.

Oh Dave you will need to work much harder to get off parole and get back on the Nice list...Christmas is coming...Santa Claus is coming to town...

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